8 Books About Sex and Puberty for Teens

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Parents often ask, "How do I talk to my teen about sex?" I often reply with, "If you haven't done that already, you likely won't have much luck." I know...kinda depressing, right? Nope! There's a solution and that solution is BOOKS. 

Whether you're a seasoned communicator, or a Nervous Nancy, books offer the solution you need for a few reasons: (1) Books don't lead your teen down a web trail into porn; (2) Depending on the book, the information in it is better than what google can provide or even what you can provide; (3) The teen can access the information when they want in the privacy of their own bedroom.

Parents DO NOT need to be sex educators. I call parents sex socializers. I am a certified sex educator and have a doctorate degree in adolescent sexual development and even I do not have all the current information about sexual health that a teen would need today. As parents, we just provide the space to listen to our kids' social problems and then probe deeper when something seems up. As a sex socializer you can discuss YOUR sexual values around abstinence, relationship commitment, sober vs. intoxicated sex, etc. But your teen's sexual values could end up looking very different from yours.

The only sexual concept that you need to communicate is your comfort discussing bodies and sex, so they will be comfortable. But not knowing something technical (e.g. what an IUD is or what Tanner stages are)? No problem. There's a book for that. 

1. It's Perfectly Normal- This book is the gold standard from the best children's book author on sexuality, Robie Harris. It's timeless, comprehensive, and inclusive.

2. Sex, Puberty, and All That Stuff- This one has lots of random information in it and is organized in such a way that it can be used as a reference book. Pretty digestible information on sexual abuse and sexual orientation as well.

3. Changing Bodies, Changing Lives- A wonderful book that integrates sexuality-related issues with other realities of teen life. It covers HIV, eating disorders, gang violence, rape, and substance use.

4. S.E.X.- A more contemporary guide from the creator of Scarleteen. I love Scarleteen and this book because the content is very much teen-derived, making them more relevant and engaging for youth. 

5. The Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality- This is one of the more factually accurate books out there for teens. Written by an expert in public health, there is lots of information and resources, but not a lot of cultural commentary.

6. Consent- A much-needed guide on an incredibly important, but messy topic. Although I don't think there is enough emphasis on talking through sex as it is happening for consent in real-time, it's a great start! And this is the best book for teens on consent that I'm aware of.

7. Celebrate Your Body- Although I am not typically a fan of the "girls only" or "boys only" approaches to sex education, there are some resources that just nail it. If you have a tween or teen girl in your life, they will love this book. It's so uplifting and fun.

8. Guy Stuff- Again, I'm not a big fan of gender segregation for understanding bodies and relationships. It's quite rare for someone-with let's say a penis-to only interact with other people who have penises and therefore not need to understand people with vaginas. But if you're into that sort of thing, this book isn't bad.

*Disclaimer: I could potentially earn amazon credit if you purchase one of these books using the link associated with the picture. It does not increase the cost to you. It just makes Amazon's profit slightly less, as they have to give me a cut.  Thanks for your support!